Shards
by onlyonceinforever
Summary: Spencer Reid's only friend reveals information that will change both their lives forever. Part of the Past Life series, set before Don't Go. :ONESHOT:


**Disclaimer: I own Criminal Minds about as much as I own, say, that state of Nebraska. That would be none at all, in case you weren't sure. Alex, however, is mine, so no touchy.**

**A/N: I've always said "When you have writer's block and haven't sat down to write anything in a really long time, try sitting down and editing someone else's work." All right, so the first time I said that was about two seconds ago, but hey, it worked. Be happy for that. **

**Shards**

When Spencer arrived at the house of Alexandra Cabot, the front door swung open before he had the change to knock. The sweatshirt-clad form of his friend stormed out and slammed the door noisily behind her, cursing colorfully all the way.

Spencer stared after her as the latter made her way down the porch steps, sneakers coming into loud contact with the ground with each one. It wasn't until Alex was all the way down the driveway and starting down the street that she noticed Spencer hadn't followed. She stopped dead in her tracks and whipped around, ponytail hitting her in the face for her effort, and snapped "Are you coming or not?"

Spencer got a hold of himself and hurried after her.

Despite the fact that he jogged and she was walking, it still took Spencer a good amount of time before he was able to take his customary place at her side, perhaps due to his legs being shorter and book-bag being more heavily loaded.

They continued the majority of the way to school in silence, with the exception of Alex's spontaneous outbursts of cursing, which were followed by an even more awkward silence than before. Eventually. Spencer screwed up the courage to inquire as to his friend's rather abnormal disposition.

"Um...Alex?"

Alex stopped in the middle of a particularly derogatory remark and glared at him.

"What?"

Spencer faltered.

"I was just wondering if... there was something the matter..." He fell silent again at the look she shot in his direction.

"Oh no, everything's just peachy freakin' keen." Alex's bitter response was loaded with sarcasm.

They arrived outside the door of the common first period class. Instead of going in, Alex stormed off in the direction of her locker without a word to Spencer. The latter pondered goin after her, but the bell was about to ring and Alex's locker was at the exact opposite end of the school from their class. Besides, if she wanted to be alone, it was probably best to indulge her. Spencer shrugged minutely and entered the classroom.

The period was more than half over by the time Alex made her way in. After a mumbled something to the teacher, she joined Spencer at their lab table and sat down without a word, placing her backpack between them on the table as the block their view of each other.

The entire period passed like this, as did the next and the next. Each time, Alex would enter late, not bother to remove her items pertinent to the course, and storm out the exact moment the bell tolled, all without a word to Spencer.

By the time lunch rolled around, Spencer had become seriously worried about his friend. It was very unlike Alex to be in such a bad mood, and to not tell him what was going on was even more rare. Spencer knew she didn't like to talk about her personal life, but she did usually open up to him eventually. He was about to confront her about the issue when a voice came over the intercom and summoned her to the office. As had become usual, Alex picked up her things and stormed out of the cafeteria without a word.

Spencer didn't see her again until after the final bell.

When he did finally catch up with her again, Alex was making her way to the locker room to change for practice. Spencer eyed her lacrosse stick dubiously before stepping in front of her, blocking her path to the stairs. Alex simply looked at him and stepped around him without saying anything. Spencer stared after her for a moment before turning to catch the bus.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?"

Spencer stopped dead, not believing that Alex had finally spoken to him. He turned around slowly before replying: "To catch my bus."

"Don't be stupid. I'm giving you a ride. Go down to the field. I'll meet you after practice." With that, Alex moved and the door to the locker room swung shut with a loud clang. Spencer remained where he was. It took him a full minute to wrap his genius mind around the fact that his friend had finally spoken to him, and that she apparently wasn't mad at him. Well, at least not mad enough to force him to endure the tortures of public transportation.

Eventually, Spencer came to his senses and made his way down to the field hockey-turned-lacrosse field to wait for the next two hours. Maybe he could get some information out of Alex on the car ride home. Spencer opened a heavy textbook and began to work his way through the assigned reading.

This continued for a good ten minutes before a commotion broke out on the field. Spencer looked up to see Alex screaming at the top of her lungs, being restrained by two members of the team. Another girl stood not too far away, looking terrified. Spencer watched as Alex brushed her captors off and stormed off in the direction of the bench where he sat.

As Alex neared, Spencer could hear the stream of curses exiting her mouth at top speed. She picked up her bags and slung them viciously over her shoulder before turning to Spencer and snapping "We're leaving." Her tone left no room for argument.

Spencer gathered his belonging and hurried after her. They reached her car in the parking lot, which was opened promptly and bags were savagely thrown inside before the trunk slammed shut.

The ride home to Alex's passed in silence between the two so-called friends. Every time Spencer attempted to speak, the former would adjust the volume on the stereo in order to drown him out. Before long, the music coming from the '92 Mustang could be heard half a mile away. Eventually, Spencer gave up.

When they finally arrived at the Cabot house, Alex killed the engine and gathered her things without a word before heading inside. Spencer hurriedly followed her inside, where they were greeted by Alex's mother. Alex ignored her inquiry as to how the day was and made her way loudly up the stairs to her bedroom. Spencer smiled apologetically and pursued her.

When the two reached the door to Alex's room, Alex suddenly stopped and whirled around.

"Wait here." With that, she strode inside and slammed the door. Shortly after, the sounds of some CD came blaring at a near-unbearable level from the inside. Spencer could swear he heard screams coming from the room that were in no way related to the song playing.

A few minutes later, the music was turned down to a more bearable level and the door swung open.

"You can come in now." If Spencer didn't know any better, he would have thought that the words sounded choked, forced, even.

He entered the room, which appeared to be in a worse state of disarray than normal. He placed his bag gently on the ground before taking a cautious seat on Alex's unmade bed. Then he just watched.

Alex refused to stay still for more than a few seconds, and as a result was pacing around the small traversable area in a manner much akin to a caged animal. Her eyes - what Spencer could see of them, anyway - were red, and there were wet streaks trailing down her cheeks. Spencer was shocked. Never before had he seen his friend in such a state.

"Lex?" he ventured, unsure of what to do in such a situation. "What's wrong?"

There was a long period of dead silence in which Spencer could tell that Alex was attempting to refrain from biting his head off with a sarcastic remark. Eventually, she joined him on the bed, leaned her head back against the wall, and closed her eyes. Not a word passed between them.

Just as Spencer was beginning to wonder if Alex had fallen asleep, she spoke.

"Spence, I'm moving." Just three words, but it was enough to break his heart. The way she said it, dead, devoid of emotion, it killed him to hear her talk like that. And so he was stunned to silence.

"But-What-Where?" One question, hanging in the air. One simple little five letter question that would determine the rest of their lives.

"Away. Far away. Connecticut somewhere." Alex opened her eyes and looked at Spencer. For the first time since the two had met years ago, he could see tears welling up in those eyes. Alex, the strong one, the one who always made sure Spencer was all right before doing anything for herself, Alex, the one who nothing could shake, was losing it.

"Lex..."

Alex smiled sadly and averted her gaze to the ceiling, shaking her head.

"This sucks..." she murmured, still staring upward. "I finally find a reason to like living someplace and they just take it the hell away from me, just like that."

Spencer was silent for a moment longer before asking "Why?"

Alex turned her gaze back to him and smiled sadly, thankfully ignoring the way Spencer's voice had caught on the word.

"Job transfer. That's how it goes, apparently. Doesn't matter whose lives you rip up in the process, as long as the job requires it. Doesn't matter how many people get their hearts ripped out and shredded. Nope. None of it matters." She stared out the window, a lone tear streaking down her cheek. Her hand moved instantly up to her face, scrubbing the wetness away with a sweatshirt sleeve.

"Wh-When?" The question tore at Spencer's heart, tears welling in his own eyes as he awaited the response.

"Spring sometime. That's all they know." The statement was followed by another period of silence. "I...I can't do this, Spence."

Spencer looked at her in surprise.

"What?"

Alex met his gaze and smirked and shrugged almost deliriously.

"I- I can't do it. Ever since I can remember, we've been moving, and ever since I can remember, I've never been in one place long enough to make any real friends. Sure, there were some nice people, but no one I really connected with, so I didn't really care when we left. But you... you I care about. And it kills me that I have to leave you." Alex fell silent again.

"Lex, I-"

"Spence, don't, all right? Just...don't. I can't deal with sympathy right now, especially not from you."

Spencer turned away, hurt. Alex noticed immediately and began to amend her statement.

"Look, I didn't mean it like that, all right? I... I just don't want to hear any more about it right now, all right? I've heard enough already..."

Spencer looked at her and saw the pleading in her eyes. He nodded slowly.

"All right," he agreed softly. He leaned over to his friend and put his arms around her. Alex nestled against him and allowed herself to be comforted as tears ran down her cheeks. This time, she didn't wipe them away.


End file.
